Final Results: Insanity-3, Me-0 - The Void: Mind Wanderings of a Lost Soul
emaleythe
emaleythe
Final Results: Insanity-3, Me-0
well, well, well....we have come to the impasse...the final bell has tolled. My body can't stop tricking me. I went to the doctor today and had the blood test done for pregnancy. Results: Negative.....and thus it all comes to an end, in tears, and hysterical barely audible conversations with my mother, and in the setting up of an appointment to get checked out by the doctor on Wednesday. Whatever is growing in me and making me symptomatic and sick, isn't a baby. I've just got to start believing that I'm not going to be a mother. Got to start believing it when they tell me it's unlikely.

So why do I feel like the biggest fool and latest victim of hysterical pregnancy? And why, oh why is my body trying to make me feel like I am? That my friends, we shall try to find out on Wednesday. Probably have to do some more blood work (even though they bruised me today), maybe an exam....we'll see....

Tags: , ,
Feeling: disappointed disappointed

8 Serenades or Sing a Song
Comments
devvie From: devvie Date: October 8th, 2004 01:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS a million hugs. My cousin is having the same type of thing..phantom pregnancies..I hope they figure out what is going on. As for being a Mom...hmm..this is a sticky subject...the doctors say it's unlikely? but they haven't ruled it out right? What do you think about adoption? Do you want to be a Mom?
emaleythe From: emaleythe Date: October 8th, 2004 02:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
i want to be a mother so badly it hurts...and I've thought a lot about adoption, but I'm not sure how I feel about it....the doctors say that there is on average an 8% chance of pregnancy with my condition. So it's possible but unlikely....here's hoping the doctor can figure something out, cause it's too heartbreaking to keep thinking I am when I'm not.
devvie From: devvie Date: October 8th, 2004 02:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
I would be like you and think I was the 8%. It is heartbreaking...I'm so sorry sweetie. I hope someday you will be a Mommy you would be wonderful.
emaleythe From: emaleythe Date: October 8th, 2004 02:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
of course I can always just keep being "mommy" to my lovely babies, Ruca and Psyche...:D
devvie From: devvie Date: October 8th, 2004 02:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
You can adopt me :D You are always helping me out of emotional jams. Yeah so I'm older but I'm potty trained :D
semaphore27 From: semaphore27 Date: October 8th, 2004 08:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
*gentle hugs*

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I know how hard it can be.

Best of luck with the exam, and for the future. I'm hoping very much that you're in that 8%.

From: danu_2u Date: October 9th, 2004 02:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Have the offered ways to increase your chance at pregnancy and up that percentage any? If a child is something you really want, then I believe you will have one at some point... whether through adoption or natural birth. I'm sorry you are having to go through this... it sucks. I remember crying so hard I thought I would lose my stomach through my mouth at times when I thought I was unable to have children. *hugs*
From: barefootatkheb Date: October 9th, 2004 02:44 am (UTC) (Link)
*hugs you ever so tightly and just hold on*
8 Serenades or Sing a Song