Well that was a disaster. Tonight in training we were discussing "active listening" and they made us role play. The first role play was with "paraphrasing", one of my least favorite subjects. It's were someone says something to you, and to show that you heard them and understand them you repeat back what the person said. For example: Someone says, "I feel so lost. I don't know what to do and no one wants to talk to me about it." and you say to them "I understand that you feel alone and confused and that you feel like you need help." I hate paraphrasing, it always felt so phony to me. So I had a super hard time doing it. Then, at the end of the session, they made us role play taking calls on the crisis line. I listened to two examples, then had to play a caller, which wasn't hard. Then my turn to take the call. It had seemed so natural and easy for everyone else but I just froze. I actually had to stop in the middle of it and say, "I just don't know what I'm supposed to be saying here. I don't know what to do." *headsmack* Of course, I missed Saturday where they talked in depth about rape and taking calls, but still.
I felt so foolish. It's my worst fear about this whole thing that I won't know what to do or that I'll say the wrong thing. It's all so hard for me and I'm not used to being the worst at something. Especially not something that I know so much about.*sigh* I'm starting to wonder for the tenth time if I should do this, but I keep telling myself that it will get easier, that I'll learn how to handle it. Guess we'll see.