fighting off the bastards - The Void: Mind Wanderings of a Lost Soul
emaleythe
emaleythe
fighting off the bastards
So...still working too hard for a person making so little, but little by little we're somehow still treading water on the bills and my feet are becoming more accostumed to standing all day. It's hard to believe that I haven't had one of these standing jobs for the last...oh let's think now...uhm...I guess for the last 8 years or so. Wow, now I feel old again. More of the job front, it's ok to take people's pictures. What is not okay are bastards that won't let you do your job and instead take over yelling stupid things about how it's their money and then bitch that all the pictures suck. I just look and them and shake my "inside head" and think "Well bastard, that's what happens when you like to pretend that you are the fucking photographer." I'm still blaming the parents for the crazy childrens' inability to smile in pictures. If the parents would stop stresses the little buggers out before and during picture time, maybe they would see more smiles. Insane jumping girl named Susan can only do so much, after all.

On the life front, the house is still a wreck, and the Christmas Tree is only partially up. I tried to put on the lights tonight, but seem to be missing two strands, so I stopped until I can go fanangle some tomorrow. Seems frivalous to spend $10 of the remaining $50 that we have in the bank on lights but the tree is the highlight of this years holiday season and I insist on it looking good. In other house news, our toilet has been broken for over two weeks now. We woke up one morning to find that the place where the tank and the bowl connect had mysteriously cracked and that flushing lead to a massive flood. Well, I'll say I learned that after one time. Jason on the other hand had to learn it three times before I gave up on him using sense and shut the water off to the toilet. Isn't it funny how men forget such things? So, instead of the good ol' taken for granted flush, we've been dedicated to the lengthy process of filling up a bucket to pour into the toilet to flush. *sigh* I use outside toilets as much as possible just to get to enjoy the act of pushing a lever *grin*.

In entertainment news, I've dropped off the face of the internet for a week or so, having had my temporary fill of second life. Instead, I've been meeting up with my mother for the last two weeks on one of my paltry days off to see movies. Last week was the Harry Potter (and omg how fucking excellent was that? soooooooooooo good). This week was Rent. *big long happy teary sigh* Rent was everything I hoped it would be. It brought back so many happy college memories when life was so much simpler and surer and I was surrounded by friends. Damn the big bad mean world for treading on me!

Health news,...Hah! What's health? No seriously, been very ill for over a week. Finally dragged my sad ass to the doctor on Wednesday to get the lovely news that I have yet again another attack of sinusitis and a touch of bronchitis. So back on the pill regimen. But bless my doctor, for knowing I have no insurance, he filled my arms with samples instead of writing out very costly prescriptions. Unfortunately, my feverish morning sweating has continued, but not to the extreme it was last week (when I sweated through 3 outfits by 12 PM). I feel somewhat better, but my throat is actually worse than before I went to the doctor. What's up with that? On the good front (I guess), I've lost some more weight (from not really eating I suppose) and I'm down to 218, my lowest in a very long time. This whole starvation diet is good for something eh? Before the yelling starts, I'm not intentionally not eating, but with all the illness and my strange work hours, I'm just not that hungry lately. I'm sure that will pick up.

Christmas is shooting up much too fast for my liking. I've yet to start on my parent's presents (gonna make them something as buying is out of the question). I have to start them this week, and Jason is under orders to buy my supplies under threat of death. I'm thinking death will come first. I'd buy them myself, but can't seem to get down to Bowling Green (as you can't buy what I need here in Glasgow). As for cards, I've been unable to find ones I like, but am hopefull that will change this week or that I can design some to send out to my loved ones that I have on here :). Don't be surprised if a poll pops up for addresses :).

[/begin pathetic whining] Shew...damn it, someone start kicking my ass to get on here more. I need to catch up more often and hear my friends, without you guy's lives and words, depression is given too much power in my life. I guess I just feel abandoned lately. The few friends I have nearby have stopped communicating with me lately. Yes two of them lost phone service, but as they spend their whole lives online you'd think that one of them would at least write me an email. They all even stopped coming to Lost night on Wednesdays. Do you know how sad it is to lose all your anchors at one time? Now they only contact me if they need something. I really miss our pointless conversations where we would just call up to make each other laugh or to sigh into the phone. I try not to think about it, but how can you avoid thinking about your best friends? It's like we don't even know each other anymore and we're only five miles apart. That's so pathetic. I blame myself too, for giving up too easily, for stop calling when they still had a phone even though they stopped answering, and for not driving over to their house to drag their asses here for Wed. But I feel like if they had wanted to have been here, they would have come. I do not want to force them to do anything. I just want my buddies back. Ok, let's label this section as pathetic whining. [/end pathetic whining]

ok ok...I wrote a fucking book...gonna hit the bed now, catch some z's and hope that we aren't too slammed at work tomorrow. Love to you all.

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12 Serenades or Sing a Song
Comments
owlgrey From: owlgrey Date: December 4th, 2005 08:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Hope things get better soon.

*Hugs you tight*
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 5th, 2005 04:34 am (UTC) (Link)
*hugs* ty, and I hope so too :)
From: ladyoftheridge Date: December 4th, 2005 01:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Depression seems to be raging right now. During intermission of the concert, I was in the restroom, sitting there listening to several compare notes on their medications for it right now. Seems a lot of them have taken to taking a "bumper" extra pill on bad days which are happening frequently. Winds of change are on us.
On another note, kick Jason's ass and tell him that he WILL pick up and install the commode and get your supplies. I may come kick it myself.

Love ya,
m
emaleythe From: emaleythe Date: December 4th, 2005 04:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
nope, we have called the landlord, someone was supposed to come Friday but never showed. Gonna keep badgering him until its fixed.
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 4th, 2005 02:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

reply

i love you and am praying for you
devvie From: devvie Date: December 4th, 2005 03:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've missed you so much. I was going to email you but felt you wanted time alone or were just really really busy.

As for the parents at your job just tell them you can't help it if their kids are ugly. :P

As for Rent I want to see it! It's great to hear it turned into a good movie. Of course I want to see Harry Potter too!!

As for Christmas...bah humbug! :D I'm actually working on my attitude here. :P

As for your Health...you're in my prayers and I hope you feel much better soon.

Love your pal, Pam
From: flametails Date: December 4th, 2005 05:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'd love to add you to my second life friends list.
emaleythe From: emaleythe Date: December 5th, 2005 04:28 am (UTC) (Link)
yay! what's your name on SL?
From: flametails Date: December 5th, 2005 05:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Fiona Flasheart
arcticnyx From: arcticnyx Date: December 5th, 2005 12:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Yay! You're alive! I hope you get better soon!!
"Insane jumping girl named Susan can only do so much" - lol, you think that would be enough. :)
Christmas is here too fast for me too. It's like I have so much to do...then there's the making of Christmas gifts too. But alas, its a warm and fuzzy season anyway - even though its seven degrees out.
emaleythe From: emaleythe Date: December 5th, 2005 04:33 am (UTC) (Link)
brrr...seven degrees sounds simply horrible and fantastic at the same time :). And yay!!!! you're alive toooooooooo!
From: barefootatkheb Date: December 5th, 2005 12:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
*waves* I missed you and hope you feel better soon *huggles*
12 Serenades or Sing a Song