A thought is rumbling.... - The Void: Mind Wanderings of a Lost Soul
emaleythe
emaleythe
A thought is rumbling....

So...my friends all over have written and got me thinking of somethings....and I decided to put my four cents in (yes four cents, because of inflation you know)....The question is: Why do people believe that because something is written in a public forum (such as an online journal) that is means that it is open for debate?

Yes, if you make something public you should be willing to hear the reaction. However, an online journal/diary is just that a journal/diary. Do I go to people's houses and dig around until I find their journal, read it, and then leave scathing comments in red ink written in the margins? NO! Do I follow people around who are talking to themselves and interrupt them with how they are wrong? NO! Do I expect anything less of the behavior from others on my own journal? Absolutely not. A journal is about a person, their beliefs, thoughts, wants, hates, loves, etc. Why would someone expect to find anything other than a vast range of belief in an individual's journal? And why do some people feel the need to comment? My point is this, a person has to right to feel as they feel, and not only do they have a right, it's natural. This can be said of the journal writer as well as journal reader. To comment on someone's belief is a strange loftly privilege that should be treated with respect. If you don't like what you are reading, then don't read it, go away, defriend them, whatever. And if you feel you absolutely MUST comment to show someone "the err of their ways", then at least do it respectfully and never anonymously. It really makes me long for the old days of manners and proper speech. I swear it takes a real man/woman to stand up and say "This is who I am". To rip someone apart in a journal takes no less, and to do this anonymously is so cowardly and abhorrent that it really sickens me.

Now, question two: Why do online journal writers (such as myself) believe that because it's a "diary" that it is private?

Well to be honest, because it is. I have never put a calling card out there that said, "Come to my blog, I want you to read it, and I don't even know you!" So without invitation, I assume you're there because you're interested in what I have to say, and that if you don't, you won't read it. Others would argue that because someone is making an extremely private thing on a public forum like the internet, certain things must be expected and that perhaps all my whinings about privacy are really a cover for some real other issues that I have. I agree with that in part. Yes it is possible that SOME people make journals to get attention, or that they really want everyone to read it. Personally, for myself, it is a record for myself, by myself. I simply enjoying typing rather than writing on paper. In addition, I do this online to actually hide some of my thoughts from others who may read it on paper. But most importantly, I am not all that comfortable with spoken word , and much more comfortable with written. It is entirely possible that I may not be able to share with family and friends things unless they read it in my journal. I am comfortable with that. I am NOT comfortable with scandle, or malicious attacks by unknown assailants, random readers, etc. (see question 1) And so what if it's on a public forum? This does not make it "public" information. There are several times that I have written an entry and been bit on the ass by it. And there are times that I have received more support than I could imagine. For these unknown times, there are two tools at easy availability to me: Friends locked and private entry. I now turn all attention to these very useful tools. I have often began writing an entry that appeared might start biting me ass, and friends locked it. In addition, there are entries that no one but me will ever read. And before all y'all get paranoid, those are only entirely personally entries or things that I don't want to hear what anyone else has to say about it....There are options, always there are options.

Which brings me to my last point, and I shall try to keep this short as many other people have spoken more eloquently than I on the subject. Today's communication is drastically more open than any other time in history. This change has brought many good things (more information, openness of cultures, ability to reaffirm one's self that you are not alone) and many bad things (unification to the point of globalization, more ability to hate, making public information that was once specialized). It is our goal to take this all in with grace, maturity, and the realization that we are all still individuals. Within our world are our communities of selves. We are lovers, haters, followers, and leaders. We are the same; we are unique. We do not all have to agree, nor disagree. There is too much gray for you to paint us all black and white. There is a quote that hangs in my house. I use it to smooth my own ruffled feathers, perhaps it applies here as well:
" I do my things and you do your things.
I'm not in this world to live up to your expectation
and you are not in this world to live up to mine
You are you . I am I.
And if by chance we find each other,
it's beautiful."
and damn, sometimes, it really is beautiful.

Tags: , , ,
Feeling: contemplative contemplative
Hearing: the shhhhhhhhhush of a/c

5 Serenades or Sing a Song
Comments
(Deleted comment)
emaleythe From: emaleythe Date: July 30th, 2004 03:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
lol...no no! comment..let the debates begin :)...'sides, it wasn't directed to anyone that reads my journal...just a debate that I've read a lot about recently....besides that, you're always respectful:D
From: ex_tarnishe998 Date: July 30th, 2004 04:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
You know, I think you voiced in your passage what I had a hard time voicing in mine.

I agree with you on every issue you put forth, and yes, I too have posts that only I can read which serve as a reminder in my life at a place I once stumbled over.

Most of my strife comes from my artwork. If someone has issues as to how it's done, ask, don't backlash and throw insults. So they say well friends lock those posts. Why? There are others besides those on my friends list who read my journal who are not members. So then it makes no sense to lock my posts and deprive them of my additions to my journal. If someone comes along and doesn't like whats there, move on and take your issues elsewhere, that is all I can say.

p.s. I also have a plaque in my house with that quote, quite moving isn't it, and beautiful as well. You deserve something special, how about a sketch? I'm in a giving mood today.
emaleythe From: emaleythe Date: July 30th, 2004 07:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
woohoo! me loves sketches!...and i love that quote, i found it on a 1970's wooden plaque when i first starting dating my bf. we're so different that I often look at it to remind myself to stop freaking out and to chill....works too...
From: danu_2u Date: July 31st, 2004 01:31 am (UTC) (Link)
You pretty much know my comments on this already. I think if a person is keeping a diary simply for themselves they would have no need of a public diary site. But you did follow that up with saying you find it an easier way to communicate with people you know. So, I guess that doesn't apply to you after all.

Even though things I have written have come back to bite my ass, as well, I still can't blame anyone but myself because I put the information out there in a public manner. No, I don't ask people to read it-- by invitation-- but by simply having a public diary the invitation seems to be an unspoken one... or else I would hide my diary and it would indeed be just for me. So, my opinion is summed up in-- if I put it out there, I expect people to read it (if not I wouldn't even have a public diary) and I can expect people will possibly comment (positive or negative), and I can only control how I react to those comments.

The base of this internet debate seems best illuminated by your comment to the first comment poster here. It isn't so much an issue of what is public or what is private... the real issue, that is being hidden in all the other justifications, is the lack of respect by some people in the way they comment. Now THAT is a debate I can get behind. Even if one feels the need to comment, they should be able to do so in a respectful manner. Some people lack the respect gene, I think. They are pushy and refuse to grasp that someone else may have a different (and valid) thought other than their own. Lawd, I should have written an entry myself. lol
From: barefootatkheb Date: July 31st, 2004 05:08 am (UTC) (Link)
*nods eagerly* very well put, and I agree with most of what you said <3
5 Serenades or Sing a Song