craig squee

The night where I was smart twice...

I made two very smart choices tonight and I'm proud of myself, despite how easy it was to live with the decision after I made it. Decision #1: The kids were screaming for fast food and it didn't look like either J or I was up to cooking tonight. So the kids wanted Sonic. I looked up the nutritional menu for Sonic, balked at the 1000+ sodium counts and the 700+ calorie counts for just the sandwiches and I said that the kids could have it if J was agreed, but I wasn't touching the stuff. And so I didn't. And I made a big salad and I was fine. The world didn't stop turning! It's amazing, because I do love myself some fast and easy fast food. And yet, simply seeing what I was going to be putting in my body, I just couldn't reconcile that with how hard I've been working.

Decision #2 was made almost by accident. My legs had been soooooooo sore for the last two days after doing my 1.75 miles on Saturday. So I told myself, no matter what, I will walk tonight and so I did. While J went to get dinner, I worked out on the gazelle. I walked the first .2 mile, then I ran, and then I walked, and then I ran and before I knew it, I was at 1.75 again. I feel I maybe could have even made it to 2 tonight, but I stopped hoping I would avoid a bit of the muscle soreness. Maybe I'll go for that 2 tomorrow.

All in all, week one was great for me! I lost 2.4% of my body weight and barring actually being a biggest loser contestant, I am wowed by my progress. I learn more everyday about food and my abilities and I'm feeling more awake and capable than I have in a long time.

Now if I could just get rid of all these colds!
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clearly except you

The end of the week is coming and I'm a Doubting Thomas...

I will not be dissuaded on my plan because of one bad day of weight loss! So last I had written, I woke up to another lb and a half weight loss, bringing me down to 213.6. That was the end of the dramatic dropping. That night (Valentine's night) my weight went high back to 217. The next morning, up to 218.4. Last night, we were at 216. Kind of discouraging, when the numbers had been so much lower. On the plus side, people are starting to tell me that they can tell I'm losing weight, and my core abdomen muscles are definitely starting to feel the change. I've maintained my mile and a half walk each day, and that part is getting easier as I was actually able to run most of a mile last night. Today however, I really need to kick my eating into gear and escalate my water consumption. I might have to go back to carrying around my steel water bottle again. If I force myself to drink more water, I feel that may help to escalate out the flushing of my body.

I continue to be a nazi over everything going into my mouth, particularly with the sodium and carbohydrate count. I can definitely tell how less salt is helping. But I still feel that I'm getting too much salt. It's such an eye opener to see how much sodium is in EVERYTHING. My first big shock was on taco night, when I discovered that a two taco shells, with 2 tablespoons of seasoned beef and hot sauce were better on all accounts than 1 plain flour tortilla. I never would have thought that. I know that reducing the salt and upping my fiber, vegetables, and fruit is definitely changing a lot for me. I don't feel like I'm starving or depriving myself of much of anything (other than my huge cravings for bread) and my energy seems much improved. Crazily enough, even my mood is elevated. I feel more capable, positive, and just a general feeling of contentment through most of the day. This is very encouraging for a lifelong chronic depressive.

As for the diabetic symptoms, my plan is working! The cramps in my feet and legs have ceased (except for one super short leg cramp on day 2) and the weird nerve pain from the sides of my foot have lessened markedly. It's like it has dulled. I tell you, it's such a blessing. I feel confident that if I keep up this lifestyle change, I will be able to accelerate my healing. I have also been working on daily affirmations, and prayers for healing. I want to be able to accept God's healing in my body. It's such a mental block for me. I do not know why it's so much harder for me to accept and believe that God can and has healed my body as I have when it comes to my heart and soul. I guess it's yet another chapter in my own personal "Doubting Thomas" book of my life. I hate that I question so much what I can perceive. I don't like that I have to "see" to believe. I have all the intention and prayer of a good child of God, but I have the faith of a pea. I want to believe, I have that motivation and craving, but I fail in keeping the faith. All I can do is continue to read His words and let him work on my mind and heart. And that, I shall continue to do.


And that's all I have time for at the moment. It's Saturday, cleaning day, and my house is a child-driven disaster. Time to motivate the troops and pick this place up!


Last minute side note, how sad is it that after all these years with the journal that I'm just now making tags for "exercise", "God", "change", and "faith"? Wow, says a lot about growing up and change.
comic craig shocked

Day 3 and I'm amazed....

Okay, so it's day three of "Get rid of weight and diabetes" plan and all is well. Did you hear me? All is well! I had some low moments yesterday and today where I found myself crazy sweets and bread sooooooooo badly that it was almost a breaking point. But I gave myself a half a slice of J's homemade artesan bread with dinner and today I slipped and ate a valentine's cookie (but hey, I read the labels on both the cookies and the mini cupcake and opted for the best choice AND I worked out tonight and worked off every last calorie of that damn cookie tonight). However, for the most part, I feel pretty good. For the last two days, I managed to will my way through a mile and a half on the gazelle and hope to at least get that far tomorrow. As for weight loss, I've lost 6 lbs in 3 days, which I find amazing. By the end of the week, I may be looking at some Biggest Loser sized weight loss, at which point I will praise God for his movement in my life. I am amazed at this time around and I'm so freaking proud of myself.


Today was such a yo-yo day at work. It started with a "argh" went to a multi-facated rent, then traveled into a forced response, moved into a desperate plea for help and ended with success and wonderment. This job of mine has the power to send me through just about every emotion and I LOVE it. I do hope to move on to bigger and better, but the job itself is so much more intriguing than what I've done for the last 12 years. It occupies my mind, keeps me busy, and though I complain about it, tends to be more fulfilling than I would ever admit publicly. And did I mention that I freaking love my coworkers? They inspire me, make me laugh, tempt me to rebel, encourage me to be a better worker, and provide enough emotional support that I can't imagine having any other dynamic. My boss lady confuses me but is much beloved. If only we could get rid of the fat man, we'd all be happy. I'm going to call the fat man "Mr. Big" from now on, simply because it makes me laugh. I swear that all I want is to make my company proud. How completely pathetic and geeky of me. But it's still true.
just reporting

And so it goes...

Day 2: Eating during the day went well! I had a preprocessed breakfast croissant (my one gimme for the day) and then packed the rest of my snacks and lunch for work. I actually brought too much food if you can believe it! I had grilled some chicken with Mrs. Dash and curry powder and cut it up for a simple salad with cherry tomatoes and one tablespoon of ranch dressing (I so need to exchange that for a nice oil and vinegar when I go shopping). For mid-morning snack, I ate two small bunches of grapes and a cheddar cheese stick (less fat yo!) and afternoon snack was a fiber and protein bar that had over 10 carbs of good sugars. I had brought an orange for lunch but didn't end up eating it. Dinner was a very simple tuna casserole with egg noodles and cream of mushroom (didn't add extra salt or butter, yay for me) and then green beans with cherry tomatoes. I substituted Stevia for sugar in our sweet tea. I feel pretty good about it all, as I'm being extremely conscious what I'm putting in my mouth. Reading waaaaaaaaay too many labels right now checking sodium content, but once I get some of the stuff I eat memorized, that part should go easier.

I walked my mile on the gazelle but didn't do any extra dancing today. Feel like I should do some yoga stretches, but I'll probably just try to get the kids all homeworked and washed up for bed before crashing myself. And to think that I only had two cups of coffee today and water after that. Here's hoping the rest of the week goes well too!


In other news, I'm still neck deep in Felicity seasons. I started it two weekends ago when I was sick in bed both days and have now made it all the way to Season 3. I sure as hell wished I'd known how good this show was when it was on! Random fact, the character Julie is played by the same actress who played the Pink Power Ranger. Who'd have thunk it?


Jason is sanding the wall at another attempt to make a kick ass theatre room. On the plus side, we actually have a kick ass projector to use in it this time. So that's all for now. This will be a hell of a makeover year if I can keep this up!
journies begin with the first step

another day another dollar

what a difference a week
makes.  i'm about halfway through the kids christmas shopping and really close to finishing the stuff i have to buy from work.  then it's just big lots and on to buying the stuff to wrap and bake.  i'm getting that christmas fever already too...soooo excited to see the kiddos christmas morn ...or eve. might start a new tradition this year if we get to go to christmas midnight mass.  i always liked it that santa visited my house while we were at church on christmas eve.  still undecided about going to the big extended family event on christmas day though.  oh well, off to work!

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dreams are not just dreams


I have purchased the elusive LaLaLoopsy...all is right in the world. Now just to figure out where another $300 or so is gonna come from to buy the rest of Christmas. I might have to suck it up and do one of those check into cash places for a payday loan because I'll have the money eventually, just not when I need it. Oh how I wish next week wasn't Black Friday, and how I wish I didn't work in retail so that I could avoid the whole mess of that day....but don't tell my bosses that.
journies begin with the first step

Lj mobile ap

Anyone know a good android ap for lj? I love using semagic on the pc for most updates but would love a great one for my phone. Found eljay and am going to give it a try...but not loving it.