I just finished watching the Lord of the Rings extra features and am again simply struck by the enormity of it. The beauty of the film and the story just blow me away. The very core of me quakes from hearing the smallest words or strain of music. How can anyone not feel this movie in every cell of their being? It’s not just a movie, it’s not just a story….there’s something about it that is so magical, so tangible that I can not help but be affected. It’s all quite kismet that the movies were made, that certain people were cast, that such care went into every little detail…..I think that the film and the book fell into my life at the exact moment that I needed them…I do not believe that I would be the same person today without them….People think that I am a LOTR freak….and though I joke about it along with them, in all honesty, I don’t feel that I am. I feel that the LOTR was already in me, of me, and that I am just now discovering myself through them. The story never fails to give me pause, or to reach out and slap me with some quote that fills me with hope and the urgency to improve myself and my world. My one regret in life is that I could not be a part of the films, not simply to have met the cast, for that is such a small thing, but instead to have given a part of myself to that grand project and to have come away with so much more. I feel such envy of the cast, each and every member, no matter how small, for being able to have touched that glory and greatness and to have been changed by it. Perhaps that is why all my idols and heroes are being found in the cast. Perhaps that is why I love them as if they were my own family and friends. I feel that their hearts mirror mine, and that they too are forever a changeling from experiencing those times….How I wish I could have had a place next to them. And how I wish that they could honestly know how much their participation in these films has meant to so many of us. It’s not that they stepped off the pages exactly as we imagined the characters, but more that they were the characters….
*sigh* If I could explain myself more eloquently I would feel better…but alas, there are no words to what the story means to me….
And how I wish that I could write as well as that….for me, that would mean more than anything…
