looking for the exit (emaleythe) wrote,
looking for the exit
emaleythe

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Poetry stirs in my heart tonight...I wonder if you will ever know.

I think of your mouth before anything
It fascinates me,
tongue and teeth,
lips curling so slightly at the edges.
Watching it form words,
rolling out sweetly like spring grass.
Your tongue darts out to wet your lips
and I want to kiss you.
A little tugging begins below me.
I make moves to draw closer;
you stretch around me.
Vision tunnels,
all I see is your lips and tongue and teeth
Glass fogs at the thought.

~4/15/05


And it's getting later; the clock is ticking slower. I've thought about you and us lately, how it seems that we are pulling apart. It's my fault mainly. I pulled away in jealousy of all your new friends and I pulled away out of necessity. But now I miss you, more now than ever before. You and I are so alike, you're my doppleganger. How can I go along without you as a companion? And we made plans, that we have yet to keep. I depend on you to remember them, but wonder if you will. I need that time for us, need to know if you're really you, or just a flimsy facade that you erected to keep the pain out, to keep the world out.
I read all your words, and wonder if you realized that you lied to me. Wonder if you ever really meant anything that you said to me. I want to think that you did, I want to think that you do. But the seed of doubt was planted long ago, and now it's coming to bloom. Of course, I am perhaps more paranoid than most, but I don't think my mind is spinning the paradigm of late.
Why do I do this to myself? Choose to believe in the sweet words and the easy lies? I want to trust you, I want to be a trusting person. I gave you more than I give most, and I feel cheated on my payment. I don't want to feel cheated, you were there for me so many times, but now I wonder if you were only there when it benefitted you.
Can we bring this to a close? Can we regain what we had? It was such an easy friendship, though the roots went deep. Please remember me, that's all I ask.
Tags: relationship, writing
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