looking for the exit (emaleythe) wrote,
looking for the exit

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No There, no cares....

Not feeling up to There tonight...seems to be so many people going through the shit tonight....unfortunately, I don't have much in the emotional reserves tonight to be of any help, and I know they would hate it if I just sat there in a Stonewall silence. That's just not very comforting. So I'm sorry guys, but I'm just not up to it...

*sigh* why does bad weather and illness make me so blah! ? It makes me want to sit on my ass and do nothing. Seems like that's all I want to do lately anyway. I know spring is supposed to make everyone shake off the winter showls of depression, but spring always makes me a little sad. First of all, there's the babies everywhere issue. How am I supposed to be happy when I'm surrounded by the young all around me? Knowing that I'm another year older and still freaking childless, and unpartnered, and have done nothing with my life that I set out to do? Then there's the loss of my comfort zone, nice cushy sweaters, long pants, thick cozy blankets....getting to surround myself in so many layers that I forget that I'm fat, only to be reminded by it when on the first warm day people pull out their shorts....Ugh! Then there's just spring itself, when everyone I know gets so damn happy to see green again....what's so good about spring anyway? I like winter...

I like the way the winter morning frost sparkles like a good quality diamond. And the way kids can pretend that they are smoking with white puffs escaping from their mouths. And the snow, when you go outside and everything is frozen, but it's warm enough to take a walk and look at everything in a blanket. and romantic walks with a light flurry, snowflakes catching the stray hairs and staying long enough to make your beloved look enchanted. It's just so damn lovely.....and the dark, I love that it gets dark real early and that I can come home and change into pajamas immediately at 5:00 PM.....

Just what exactly is so nice about spring?
Tags: about me, night musing, writing

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