looking for the exit (emaleythe) wrote,
looking for the exit

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The Third Time's A Charm, Part 1

And without even asking for it, here's a piece of the writing that I worked on in the hotel. As always, work in progress. There are many chapters of devious debauchery left in my head on this subject.

TITLE: The Third Time's A Charm
AUTHOR: emaleythe
PAIRING: Craig Ferguson/OFC
RATING: R (Language)/ NC17 (later)
SUMMARY: The first night, strange meetings, a little indiscretion.
CONTENT/WARNING: Some swearing/sexual references
DISCLAIMER: This story is 100% fiction. These events never happened. Lyn is a fictional character based in fact.
AUTHOR’S NOTES: It's always amazing to me the amount of fiction I could right just inspired by hotel rooms. This latest attempt was my fantasy musings all alone in one such room.

It was the night before the conference, and Lyn was on the floral bed in front of the television. The view in the room was nonexistent with a window only two feet tall. It was built so high up on the wall that her petite frame was only two inches above the windowsill. She felt like a child, stepping up to stand on a chair peering out at the river. At least I have myself, since the view is for shit. The sound of the door opening sent her reeling and then tumbling to the floor with a yelp. She sat up rubbing her head as a man came barreling into the room.

"Oh shit, are you okay?” spoke the stranger with a lilting Scottish accent.

Lyn looked up at him, brushing the stars out of her daze.

“No offense, but who the fuck are you?”

The man just smiled, “I was going to ask you the same question. This is supposed to be my room.”

“There must be some mistake, I’ve been checked in for hours,” Lyn said.

“We’ll see about that,” and he dialed up the front desk.

Twenty minutes later, after passing the phone back and forth, talking, ordering, and yelling with the hotel personnel, Lyn and the stranger sat down on the bed in a huff.

“I can’t fucking believe this! How could there not be another available room in this city?”

Lyn smirked, “I don’t know, it doesn’t seem to be likely. However, that seems to be your problem. This was my room first.”

He stared at her, “You don’t mean that you’re going to throw me out?”

“Look, I don’t even know you, I’m sorry about this, but you can’t actually expect to stay here!...Oh…oh, shit. You do expect it! You can’t be serious, there’s only one bed!”

“It’s a suite! I’ll sleep on the couch in the other room. Hell, you can even lock the door between us. You can have sole dictatorship over the bathroom; I’ll pee in the sink or something. Please!”

Lyn shook her head, “No, no, no. That’s crazy! You’re crazy!”

He just looked at her all hang dog.


“I’ll pay you.”

“What are you, Donald Trump? I said no!”

“I promise I’m good for it.”

Lyn looked him over, “Well, apparently, at least from the look of your clothes…but…look I don’t even know you,…”

“Craig,” he interrupted.


“You said you didn’t know me, I’m Craig. Now you know me.”

“Fine, you’re Craig, you wear nice clothes, and you’re Scottish, but I still don’t know you.”

“Hell, that’s more than my first wife knew about me,” he joked.

“What? Can I finish?”

He waved her on, with a sly sideways grin.

“As I was saying, no matter if you pay me, no matter how much you beg, or how cute you are…”

“You think I’m cute?”

Lyn just kept talking, “…I don’t care if you’re the freaking Loch Ness monster, you aren’t staying here. That’s final.”



“Fine, but you’re putting me out to an uncertain fate, woman. I could be sleeping on the streets…I could be killed, you know.”

Lyn looked away. Craig sighed and got up from the bed. He shuffled to pick up his luggage at the door, casting one last forlorn look towards the bed. Lyn watched him with weary eyes as he exited. She hated feeling like such a bitch, but what did he expect? Did he really think that she was going to let some strange man sleep in her hotel room? What kind of woman did he think she was? But he was cute, very cute, and Scottish. I always have had a thing for Scottish men…Wait, what the hell am I thinking? I made the right decision and I’m sticking to it.

Fifteen minutes later, she was standing at the door, still unable to wash him from her mind. I could just check on him, make sure he’s gone, or that he’s okay. God, what am I saying?...Fuck it, I’m checking. And she opened the door.

Craig hadn’t made it very far. He had gone down the hall as far as the elevators before dropping the bags and dropping onto some chairs. This night had been a disaster. First, his plane had made the unscheduled stop. Then when he finally got into town, the cabbie had an accident on the way to the hotel and now this woman and shuffled him promptly out. Craig thought about calling his agent and forbidding him to ever schedule was on these ridiculous conference appearances ever again, but just wanted a moment to gather his thoughts. He wasn’t blaming the woman, although she had been haughty as hell. No, she was just the perfect ending to his perfectly crap day. Besides that, she did have a point; he couldn’t very well expect her to let him stay there. I can’t believe I offered to pay her. What kind of schmuck does that? Well, at least I didn’t start screaming, “Don’t you know who I am?”

Craig laughed to himself, thinking about her falling off the chair. She was such a wee woman all perched up there, elbows on the sill, like a little girl. I wonder what the hell she was doing up there? He chuckled. And what the hell was with the Lock Ness monster comment? Is she on crack?...No, I doubt that, she’s too cute to be on crack, maybe a little ganja, a little wacky tobaccy, but not crack. The sad part is I’d probably stayed in that room anyway, no matter what she was on, just to get a crack at sleeping tonight.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of light footsteps coming toward him. Craig sat up, suddenly aware of how he must look all slumped in the hallway. He tried to act casual, but lost all the cool when he heard his name. He turned to see the wee woman standing there.

He could not hide his surprise, “What are you doing here? You told me to leave; I’m trying to respect your wishes.”

She shuffled her feet and shrugged, “I don’t know. I feel bad about this. I mean, put a blond wig on you and put you in some teacher clothes, and you could be my mother with that guilt trip you laid on me. I wouldn’t normally do this, but…I mean, there’s no rooms and I do have a couch. You seem nice…I guess, I mean as long as there are some rules…”

Craig smiled, “Yes?”

“I guess you can stay, but tomorrow you have to try to find another room.”

Craig jumped up and hugged her.

She pushed him away with a laugh, “Alright, none of that. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I must have hit my head harder than I thought.”

Craig laughed and picked up his bags again, headed back towards her room.

“I have to ask, what were you doing up on that chair?”

She smiled, and looked over her shoulder at him, “I was looking out the window.”

They smiled at each other and went inside.

A couple of hours later, Lyn was again perched on the chair, trying to look at the river, when she heard the slight knock on the door separating her room with the rest of the suite. She turned to see Craig poking his head through.

“Lyn? Would you mind if I took a shower? I promise to not use all the towels.”

“Sure, go ahead. Just move my stuff out of your way.”

Craig nodded, and went on in.

Lyn listened for the sound of the water running. She found her thoughts streaming to the man under that shower, and then inevitably to his wet body. Water running down his chest, curling through the smattering of hair, then to his stomach, flowing down over that sexy hollow of his hips, and then…Lyn shuddered and tried to push the thought from her mind. I could just walk in on him, take a little peak. That could be my payment, just let him work it off. Lyn laughed at herself. Such a horny little bastard I am.

Craig let the water run over his tired muscles, allowing the hot stream to do its work easing out all his tension from the day. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply in the mist. It had been a long day and a longer night. His agent had little good news. Although things were still set with work, he had little success in securing another room in the city. Craig figured that a change in location may be in order, but his agent assured him that something would be set up tomorrow come hell or high water. That would just have to do for now.

Turning off the water, Craig stepped out lightly, watching himself in the full length mirror. He felt so old anymore, his forty-three years weighing heavily on him. He stuck out his gut comically, prodding the pudge that was beginning to gather at his sides and middle. He hated getting fat again, having struggled with that issue all of his life. Being divorced for the second time didn’t help his mental state either. He sometimes wondered just how much longer women would find him sexy. Hopefully, staying in the public eye could extend that period for a bit longer.

Hanging the towel up, Craig stepped back into his clothes and out into the room. Lyn turned to look at him with a smile.

“And what are you doing back on that chair, miss?” Craig said with a smile.

“Just looking.”

“What are you looking for?”

“Nothing in particular, just looking.”

“Mind if I look with you? My side of the room doesn’t have a view.”

“Help yourself.”

Craig walked over beside her and looked out on the mess of a power grid. In between the steel bars he could barely make out the shine of a river, hardly worth a glance normally. He glanced over at her in disbelief, and then chuckled. Lyn looked over and began laughing along, despite her best attempt to remain stern.

Through her laughs, Lyn choked out, “Why are we laughing?”

Craig shook his head, “It’s just so absurd.”

Lyn doubled over, laughing harder, and leaned her head a bit on his chest, trying to stifle her giggles.

Craig’s chest shook as he let out some loud guffaws, holding on to her for support. Lyn lifted up finding herself eye to eye with Craig. Realizing that she was still standing on a chair, she began giggling again. Craig smiled at her, leaned forward, and kissed her on the cheek. Lyn blushed.

“What was that for?”

“Just thanking you for letting me stay here and for making me laugh. I needed that.”

Lyn grinned, “I think I need that too, these damn conferences always make me tense. And you’re welcome.”

Craig began to say something but then glanced away suddenly, and lunged for the TV remote. Lyn turned to see what had grabbed his attention, while he fumbled with the remote. Her eyes widened with surprise at the man on the screen. She looked over at Craig, with her mouth hanging open.

“Shit! Guess there’s no point in changing it now.”

“That’s you! I knew I recognized you from somewhere!”

“Yes, that’s me, TV’s Craig Ferguson.”

“Wow. Now I’m really impressed. What are the chances that a lowly convention attendee has a room but a TV star doesn’t?” Lyn laughed.

“Yes, that was…ah…strange for me as well, but I’m not a star really. Don’t get all impressed with me now just because of that. After all, I’m just here as a speaker for a convention anyway.”

Craig felt terribly miserable now; he hadn’t wanted Lyn to find out. He had been happy to just be the anonymous stranger and now it could get to be tense. If only I had thought to check the time, this could have all been avoided. He sank onto the bed, watching his performance on screen. He wasn’t the only one watching. Lyn had stepped down from the chair and was listening intently. Better than a studio audience, she began laughing along with the show. Craig smiled, watching her reactions.

Lyn perched on the edge of the bed in front of the television, only turning once to grab his hand and to tell him that he was funny. Forty-five minutes later, both were stretched out on the bed watching the credits roll. Lyn flipped onto her side to face Craig.

“That was the most fun I’ve had with late night TV in a long time. You’re really good.”

“You’re too kind, besides it wasn’t that funny. You’re just humoring me.”

“The hell I was! And may I say, you look quite dashing in that suit you were wearing," Lyn winked.

Craig mumbled gratitude, and then pushed up off the bed, “Well it’s late. I should let you get to bed.”

Lyn set up, “Yeah, I guess. I’ll walk you to the door. Let me get you some pillows and a blanket.”

Standing on her tiptoes in the closet, Lyn fumbled to reach the spare bedding. Craig walked up behind her and reached up to grab the pillows. He felt her take a breath and sway toward him.

Craig leaned down to her ear, “You okay?”

Lyn responded throatily, “Yeah, I’m great.”

She turned to face him, looking up into his eyes. Craig felt the familiar tug in his gut. He leaned toward her as if to kiss her, thought better of it, and grabbed the blanket off the shelf above her.

“I’m going to go to the couch. Uh…Have a good night, Lyn. It’s been…ah…lovely.”

Lyn kept the eye contact and just nodded. She started to follow him to the door, when Craig stopped her with a hand.

“You don’t have to go with me. I’m sure you’re worn.”

“Ah, it’s okay. I don’t mind, besides I know men can never make a bed themselves.”

With that, Lyn grabbed all the bedding out of his hands and pushed past him in the hall. Craig followed her, kicking himself for letting her. He walked in to see her bent over the couch. His eyes followed the line of her back, rounded over her ass, and were lingering down her thighs when Lyn turned.

“Mr. Ferguson! Were you just checking me out?”

Craig blushed and stammered and Lyn smiled in return.

“Don’t worry, frankly, I’m flattered. There are worse things than a sexy Scot checking out my ass.”

“Well technically, it was more than your ass.”

Craig was so conflicted, and just stood there as Lyn walked slowly up to him. She placed her hands on his chest and leaned up. Craig moaned and moved forward crushing his lips against hers. Lyn relaxed sliding one hand up to pull him more fully into her mouth. Craig felt out of his body, as if he was watching this all from somewhere, it wasn’t his body that was responding this way. He felt her tongue dart out at his lips, which were on their own furious path to devour hers. Then, just as suddenly as it all began, Lyn pushed herself away blushing.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

Craig tried to apologize as well, but Lyn was rushing toward the center door. He barely was able to shout out a good night before hearing it click between them.

Tags: craig, writing

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