looking for the exit (emaleythe) wrote,
looking for the exit
emaleythe

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Mystical Pig strike-out

Amusing as hell, as seen on surreality_fan's journal, the ever infuriating Mystical Pig. Following is my conversation with the Pig, exactly as it played out.


The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Will I ever get to meet Craig Ferguson?
and the mystic pig said: Only if you meet fate halfway.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Does that mean that I should take the initiative and actually get to LA for a taping of a show?
and the mystic pig said: My mystic sense is cloudy on this subject.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Uh huh. I see. So what does it mean that I should meet fate halfway?
and the mystic pig said: Let other people know how you feel.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Should I let Craig know how I feel about him?
and the mystic pig said: Yes, but not just yet.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Do you know when I should let him know?
and the mystic pig said: Ohhhhh yes.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: When should I tell him?
and the mystic pig said: Never, if you carry on the way you are now.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?
and the mystic pig said: You already know the answer to that one.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Ok, fair enough. So when I tell Craig how I feel, will he tell me how he feels about me?
and the mystic pig said: You already know the answer to that one.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: I'm going to assume that's a yes. Will he tell me that he loves me too?
and the mystic pig said: You already know the answer to that one.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Ok. So are you saying that he DOES think I'm a crazy person?
and the mystic pig said: Try Google.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Google won't help me on that one unless Craig has said something about me being crazy. So try again, will I like what Craig thinks about me?
and the mystic pig said: Try Google.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Ok fine. Next question. Will I ever convince Craig that I'm not crazy and that he must love me?
and the mystic pig said: My mystic sense is cloudy on this subject.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Let me uncloud you on that one. Will Craig and I ever be in love?
and the mystic pig said: A suffusion of yellow.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: hmmm....do we have malaria?
and the mystic pig said: You already know the answer to that one.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: You tire me pig. Do you just want to hear, "That'll do pig"?
and the mystic pig said: I haven't the faintest idea.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Gah! Ok, last question. Is there any hope that I'll ever marry a Scotsman?
and the mystic pig said: You already know the answer to that one.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: No I don't! Stop avoiding the question. Will I ever marry a Scotsman?
and the mystic pig said: Try Google.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Fuck google, and fuck you. Answer the question! Am I going to marry a Scottish man?
and the mystic pig said: My mystic sense is cloudy on this subject.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Will refreshing your page help you answer?
and the mystic pig said: That's for me to know and you to find out. I don't want to spoil the surprise...

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: You cheeky swine! I'm refreshing. Now answer, Scotsman for me? Yes or no.
and the mystic pig said: Sleep on it.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin

The Mystic Pig


I asked the mystic pig: Fine, fine. That'll do pig.
and the mystic pig said: I haven't the faintest idea.

Ask the Mystic Pig another question
created by ixwin
Tags: craig, funny shit to make me laugh, meme
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