looking for the exit (emaleythe) wrote,
looking for the exit

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am i going crazy?

So I just had a big fight with the boyfriend and I'm feeling all crazy. The fight was stupid, but like all of our regular fights oscillate between trying to tell each other what we would really like to forcing control over each other's lives. So this one was on his choice of an educational institution.

Right now he's going to a Jr. College for exactly what he wants to do : E-commerce engineering. He's getting sick of the inflated school bills and the feeling that he's getting a screwed education when he could just buy books and learn the same damn thing for pennies of the cost of school. So he's thinking about switching to one of the regular universities around here.

My problem with that is this:
A) His major will likely be changed to a less satisfying computer programming type of study
B) He may not be able to finish as an Associate, instead having to go for Bachelors
C)He may not be able to transfer any credits, thus setting him back
D) One of the places he's considering will suck and is my hometown, basically making me have to relocate at some point because of his bitching
E) I am only waiting for him to get out of school so that I can go back for my masters/PHd

So if he takes longer, the longer I've got to keep supporting us....and if he goes to the crappy lil university that is my hometown....I won't be able to deal.

Yes, I'll be closer to my family (which is stress enough for me, much less for him) but I'll also be closer to all the fucking pricks that tortured me through highschool. And if I'm not wanting them to see that I've become the exact loser that they always thought me to be I will kill myself. And I'm not really a fucking loser, I'm just stuck in this intermedia from what I was, and who the tortured aftermath still is. And I hate my fucking hometown! I hate it!
So I'm going crazy....and yes, I'm all MEMEME but for Christ's sake, how much do I have to do for this man before he's happy? For god's sake, finish these last three quarters, get out, get a job, and then we'll move and you can be happy. We're talking only 1 more year!
Tags: rant, relationship

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