July 18th, 2003

journies begin with the first step

It all falls apart.....

So I'm sitting at work, having a particularly productive day, when *ring ring* I get a call. It's Boyum, Assistant DA from North Carolina updating me on my case. It seems that a month ago when offered the plea agreement with 10 yrs prison and 10 yrs registering as a sex offender, the bastard decided that noooooo, he doesn't want to register as a sex offender. My mom (eccentric and very new agey) has thus consulted her psychic friends, and sent me emails about how his spirit guides are trying to make him own up to all that he's done to me, but that he is resisting. To mom, this makes perfect sense. To me? Well, being a psychologist i realize that most people resist owning up to the horrible things that they have done, it's called denial mom, so i wasn't really surprised. But now, back on the phone, Mr. Boyum is telling me that he's consulted with the main asshole DA who thinks that the tale of what happened to me is so odd and unlikely that he thinks it is best that we let him just take a plea for 10 years prison. What am I supposed to do? I re-explained why it was so terribly important to me that the registering be included, and reaffirmed that I'm willing to testify in court....but it's been over two years, and the doubts that anyone will believe me are still there. ....and the damn DA's will do whatever they want anyway, because they are male, because they can't understand, .....soooooo, I relented, and my heart's broken again.....

There are so few tiny pieces left now....I keep telling myself that I didn't deserve this, that I did nothing to provoke this, that I've fought all that I can.....but every step I take is another concession, is another slap in the face.....I'm so tired....
of fighting......
journies begin with the first step

New revolution!

Well, it's decided....I finally got ahold of my long lost friend Anngee back in Asheville NC, and told her the news. She has informed me that there is a newspaper report just itching to tell my story of horror and injustices especially concerning the court system and they way i've been "dealt with". Sooooooooo, I'm going public, I'm going to order the DA to give me copies of my depositions and I'm going to the press. Of course, this won't make a difference on my case, but by hell it will stop these elected officials from getting back into office. And maybe, just maybe they will start rethinking their behavior and our damn court system......My mom was furious at the DA today....she says the only unusual thing about this case was that I am an unusual person that was able to survive the 13 hours and then use every bit of knowledge garnered from my forensic psychology studies and love of John Walsh books to find an escape. I, for once, am in total agreement. Why else would they treat me like I'm some crazy person who made up this story? What's unusual about a homeless crack crazed person doing something psycho like this? One day, I'm going to tell my story and when I do, people will fall.....VIVE LA RESISTANCE!