May 11th, 2004

journies begin with the first step

contemplation

Daily Humorscope:Someone will stop you today, to ask directions. Tell them to take the second star to the right, and go straight on till morning. (I personally never ask for directions, since I find it's always much more effective to find someone who looks like they know where they're going, and follow them. I also always tell people that my name is "Svlad." It's something to do.)

i like that "second star to the right, straight on till morning"....I want to change my personality some....change it back to a better place...back to how I used to be on the outside, instead of how I am now....is that too hippyish? I want to be all metaphysical, philosophical, celestial, hippy dippy .....I want to sound stoned when I'm sober....but I want to sound like a cool stoner. You know the type...the type of stoner that you would always find sitting around doing artwork, or going to college, hanging out in the coffee shop having these grand discussions of life....I miss that....i don't want to grow up *whine*

I want to be one of those cool older people with nice streaky gray hair that looks like they stepped out of fairy land....I want to be a cool grandmother who bakes cookies, and plants things, and does these awesome art pieces out of trash and scrap.....I want an eclectic house, filled to the rim with books on every subject, filled with good smells and jolly people.....

I want to be a different person, with a different job, and a different mate.....I want to change....i think that's the first step, wanting to change. Second step, making goals and plans. Third step, taking a baby step everyday so that sometime soon it happens. The hardest part is starting....it's in the starting that everything goes to hell.....
journies begin with the first step

having it all....just to say "I'm sorry, but..."

just a thought....reading over sites, I heard a lot of "we've heard from Mr. Boyd's people....blah blah blah" .....wouldn't it be nice to have people? So that they can make announcements like, "Ms. Clark will not be hearing from tenant's today, she is occupied with other engagements." or to hear people say, "I heard from Ms. Clark's people that she will not be leaving her house today due to other responsibilities" or even "I'm sorry Mr. Boyfriend, but Ms. Clark is unavailable for a fight this evening, can we pencil you in at 12:30 tomorrow?"

that would be so nice.....i want my own people....