July 6th, 2004

journies begin with the first step


I wish I could hop off and go to the Edinburgh Film Festival in August....that would be sweet....and then Billy could fall for my sarcastic wit and eternal beauty and make me one of his dearest and closest friends. I could move to Glasgow and housesit for him when he was out of the country, thereby getting free access to snoop through his things, but I wouldn't do that because our friendship would be that good. We'd go have coffee, and he'd try to hook me up with all his old mates, but I would laugh and decline knowing that I only have eyes for him. When he breaks up with Ally, it would be me he turned to for comfort, and I would whisper in his ear that it was all okay, because Dom loves him and yes, it is like that. And then when he and Dom ran off to have their committment ceremony, I would be in the front row, holding hands with Margaret, wiping tears from my eyes, sighing the bittersweet sigh of someone letting go of their soulmate because this is the only way they will ever be happy.....

oh, sorry, did I say all that aloud?....daydreaming I suppose.....
journies begin with the first step

why? just why?

one of my tenants just came in and told me the most awful news about her mother (another tenant)....over the weekend, she was picked up by some men, taken to a hotel room, held down, injected full of drugs and then raped. This woman has heart problems, and the drugs are interacting with her heart, meaning that now she's having heart attacks one after another and can't stay alone due to the perpetrators being at large as well as the health effects....My tenant tells me all of this real nonchalant, as if it isn't sending shockwaves of pain through her. Needless to say, I'm taken aback and absolutely hurt.....all i could choke out was that "I'm so sorry"....god, this just brings it all back.....:(