Dear Mr. Exterminator Guy,
The fact that you are Southern does not give you permission to spell words the same way that you pronounce them. For example, just because you say "dis-troy" does not mean that you are allowed to spell "destroy" that way. And I'm so happy that you offered the suggestion that I "ask the kids to stop distroying them" because I never would have thought about that. If you honestly think that asking the heathen children here to stop doing something works, then by all means try. For future reference, just asking/telling the children on this property is worthless. Unless I follow them around with a bat, nothing will change, so charge for the damn replacements of the bait stations. It's not like they work anyway.
Angry Apartment Manager
Dear Bitchy Office Depot Account Manager,
When a faithful customer calls to request a copy of an invoice so that it can be paid, DO NOT get all bitchy and in a whiney voice try to say that the invoice has been sent twice to this office as if that makes a difference in my calling. The truth is, that I did not receive the invoice because if I received it, it would be on file. Even if I missed it once, I would not have missed it the second time. Besides that, there's no way in hell that it was sent a second time, because your damn company doesn't send a second invoice if it's not been paid, they send a statement, which I have. Also, shouldn't the fact that I'm actually calling to get the invoice be reason to lay off your "better than thou" mentality? I can guarantee I'm not the only person that ever had to call to receive the copy of an invoice. Lastly, when I call for an invoice copy, don't fucking NOT send it like you have done today. Perhaps that's what happened to your "supposed" second invoice.
Now granted, I used to work customer service and I know that bitchy customers would make me tend to be bitchier in turn, but I called you with my most professional sweet voice and only requested if I could have a copy faxed to the office because I could not find an original and that I wanted to put it in our system to be paid. Exactly what about that statement made you think that you could have permission to be bitchy? I wasn't blaming you (now I am, but not at the time), I was actually taking the brunt of the stupidity and placing it on myself.
In conclusion, fucking give it a rest and fax me that damn invoice now!
Innocent Manager who did not receive the original invoice thankyouverymuch
Have better sense than to get all smart with me. Realize that almost all of us have sucky jobs.
Frazzled Person Tired of Dealing with Y'all's Shit