Please, a second hundredth chance? - The Void: Mind Wanderings of a Lost Soul
Please, a second hundredth chance?
I am sorry. All I do is spout anger and frustration now and I've made you mad, alienated you. I don't know how to cure it and every time I open my mouth more poison comes out. I want to be better. Sometimes I just feel so socially inept that I don't know how to change my train wreck of relationships while they are still at the point where they can be saved. What do I need to say to you?

I feel like you're pulling back and I know I've been a large reason why. Don't retreat! Please, let's fix this! I don't know what I'd do without you in my life and though I can be totally hateful and seemingly completely self-absorbed, I do think of you constantly with fondness and concern. It's just my stupid mouth.

So let me tape my mouth shut and be there for you. I don't want to talk about me anymore. Please help me to help you. Tell me what you need, I'm too ridiculous to comprehend without you telling me. Yes, I am that stupid sometimes, don't argue with me. And don't say it's ok, not this time. Don't tell me I didn't do it, when I just know that I did. Even when you say "it's not you" I still beat myself up over it. Even when I believe you when you say "it's not you", I torture myself because then it just shows how socially inept I am.

Let me fix it, please? You're the closest person to me, don't let me ruin it.

Tags: , ,
Feeling: rejected rejected

7 Serenades or Sing a Song
arcticnyx From: arcticnyx Date: August 31st, 2005 04:13 am (UTC) (Link)
*hugs* for you
emaleythe From: emaleythe Date: August 31st, 2005 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
*hugs back*
From: barefootatkheb Date: August 31st, 2005 10:32 am (UTC) (Link)
emaleythe From: emaleythe Date: August 31st, 2005 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
From: ladyoftheridge Date: August 31st, 2005 12:18 pm (UTC) (Link)

Love to you dear Ema.

devvie From: devvie Date: August 31st, 2005 03:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're wonderful and relationships are hard but they do take two..showing you love someone and want to make things better is is communication...I pray the two of you can communicate your love. Hugs
emaleythe From: emaleythe Date: August 31st, 2005 10:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks, hopefully my friend will realize that I know I'm an idiot but do love her. *hugs back*
7 Serenades or Sing a Song