i wrote a poem tonight...not the best, but it will do for now
I lost myself tonight.
I felt it slip away, seep out my pores.
floating in a world even less real than this one.
words grabbed my attention,
in a language not my own,
and these words tugged at the part that was still alive.
made you real,
made you seem hurt,
made me hurt.
And while still lost,
I regained a soul from another language.
I found beauty in that pain.
I discovered that being lost is the human condition,
and I am just one of the many.
You said there is beauty in pain.
There always was, is.
But what of the one that finds all of it beautiful?
Won't it lose meaning?
Won't the pain start to just become pain again?
and my muse (captured in case) was this poem found on an sl profile:
No me pidas ser tu amigo
Hoy buscas en mí un amigo
que haga un poco por que alcances lo que anhelas,
un amigo sería yo si te apoyara
contra todo lo demás.
A un amigo tu dicha lo haría feliz
aunque ésta te llevara lejos,
y te fueras más allá de adonde yo
te habría podido acompañar.
No me pidas ser tu amigo
porque hay cosas en mí
que este día no entiendo;
por ejemplo que no puedo ser ese alguien
que piensa en la comprensión,
y ésta sólo me daría tranquilidad
si a la vez tu me comprendieras
esta tarde que me hace abrazarte fuerte
cuando me dices adiós.
Un amigo te diría que todo marcha
mientras se muerde los labios
y por tí no extrañaría cada fin de año
los días que no volverás...
Un amigo dejaría de hablar de cosas
que sabe que te harán falta
para hablarte de lo que hay más adelante
aunque yo me quede atrás.
Sé que siempre fui el contigo
que tuviste a cada instante de tu vida.
Translates roughly to:
You do not request to me to be your friend..... Today you look for in me a friend who does a little so that I reach what you yearn for, a friend would be I if he supported to you against all the others. To a friend your happiness would make it happy although this one took to you far, and you were yourself beyond where I could to you have accompanied. You do not request to me to be your friend because there are things in me who this day I do not understand; for example that I cannot be that anybody that thinks about the understanding, and this one only would give tranquillity me if simultaneously your you included/understood to me late this that does abrazarte hard to me when you say good bye to me. A friend would say to you that all march while it bites the lips and by tí would not surprise each year end the days that you will not return... A friend would let speak of things that that knows they will need to you for hablarte of which there is more ahead although I remain back. I know that I always was with you which you had constantly of your life.
In other news, I need to stop watching depressing movies. I finally watched "everything is illuminated" and having read the book, the movie was satisfactory. Also watched the weatherman and it has bummed me out (of course though I haven't watched the last 10 mins or so, so maybe things turn out ok). Otherwise, I'm lonely and really wish that I had a break from babycare for just a few hours.