studying for the GRE is leaving me for the most part discouraged. it is the first time in my entire history of academics that i do not feel prepared or ahead of the game. i don't like this feeling. now don't get me wrong, i do not claim to be a genius, but i do know that i'm bright and i've always depended on study and working hard to get the grades that i received. however, i never had to work as hard as others...until now. there are so many people who keep telling me not to stress it, that i'll do fine but they do not know how rough it is to try and jump back into all these subjects after an 7 year departure. analogies are kicking my ass, and i love vocabulary! as for math? though i know it is not helpful to scream, huff and puff while going through the math review and exercises, i find that i can do little else. i don't know if it's just the review i'm using but i swear that i do not remember ever even learning some of this stuff. if we did, then it was hardly ever used. i feel like such an idiot for not knowing this stuff. why oh why did i not take the GRE when i got out of undergrad *curses the old Susan*.

to make matters worse, i was talking to some people online who were telling me that most deadlines for graduate school admissions for the next year's fall semester are in the fall of the previous year. i was falling under the old undergraduate assumption that i had until spring to apply for next fall. That was a very sucky assumption for me to make. so now, not only do i need to study and take the GRE in the next month or so, i also need to bust my ass to get everything else that is required for admission. i'm not worried about transcripts, because i still have one unopened official transcript from the university. it's those damn recommendations that i never got off teachers before leaving school. i have no idea if the professors will remember me, will be able to write recommendations, or are even still employed at my old universities. I also have no clue what i'm going to grad school for, as what i'd like to take isn't offered as a MA program at this university, but is instead a Specialist in Education degree. i have a shit load of research and study to do, and i need more than anything to get to the university to talk to admissions and professors. i MUST get back into school, and quickly.

how the hell do other parents of small children do this shit?

Tags: school
Feeling: intimidated