This morning I put on my clothes to get ready to go to the Health Dept to get Lukas another set of shots. When I went to the bathroom I had to stare at myself for a few minutes because I didn't recognize the body silhouette that was mirrored at me. I looked so skinny! After months of feeling and looking like a beached whale, it was just so odd to not see a belly pouched out. It was so lovely to me. I turned to the side, flattening my shirt, then letting it loose itself back naturally on my body. I stood up straighter, then hunched down. And yes, I admit, for a split second I even sucked in my gut. My body after birth is still of course in the resettling of organs phase, so I know this isn't the same silhouette I'll see in a month, but for now it was a beautiful thing. Granted I still make faces when I see myself naked, but for now, in clothes, I feel pretty. And that's nothing to snicker at. Anyway, my point of all this, is that I'd love for the shape I saw this morning and the accompanying emotions that went with it to continue. I want to be able to see this shape every morning, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. I want to feel pretty, sexy, maybe a bit lascivious *grin*. Mostly, I just want to look in the mirror every day and love what I'm seeing as much as I loved myself this morning. I know it's possible, nay I know it will happen.
So today I hope to start that research, plan out in detail some goals (and rewards because who doesn't like being rewarded? and it's working so well for Danu), start looking at the best way for me to journal my food and exercise, and find some sort of source for healthy whole family recipes to work from. And maybe, just maybe, I'll step a foot on that scale.