TITLE: Trial and Error
CHAPTER/WORK IN PROGRESS/COMPLETE: Work in progress
RATING: R (Language)/ NC17 (later)
SUMMARY: After the kiss, partings, a day in court
CONTENT/WARNING: Some swearing/sexual references
DISCLAIMER: This story is 100% fiction. These events never happened. Lyn is a fictional character based in fact.
AUTHOR’S NOTES: Thanks to the encouragement of all and to Billy who makes himself so easy to write and imagine.
Lyn was in heaven, feeling like a waking dreamer. Don’t pinch me please; I never want to leave this moment. Billy was still kissing her, currently nibbling on her earlobe in the most lust-driven, body maddening way. They had been making out like teenagers for the past forty-five minutes, and Lyn was close to seeing stars. The only breaks were for hurried gasps and moans. They kissed as if dying of a thirst that only each other could quench. Billy slid his lips up her neck and caught her bottom lip with his teeth. Lyn moaned against his mouth, sliding her hands up to wind her fingers into his hair. I never would have thought that he was a biter, but boy am I glad that he is! Billy pressed against her, forcing her into the wall, and Lyn was caught between the cool paper behind her and the hot bulge in Billy’s pants. Unconsciously, she shifted her hips against him, rubbing. Billy dissolved into groans.
“God Lyn, god.”
“Mmmmhmmm,” Lyn said, still sucking on his neck.
Billy shuddered and pulled away a little, “I mean, stop….hold on.”
Lyn’s body moved with him of its own volition, connected with a sexual string.
Billy moved a few feet back and sat on the bed, rethought it, and sat on the chair. Lyn moved to the back across from him, watching with low lidded eyes.
“Okay, we have to slow down. As much as I don’t want to, cause baby you know I do,” gesturing to his crotch, “We have to think about this.”
“What’s there to think about? We obviously have an insane chemistry going on here. And I for one have loved you for a long time, even if only from afar.”
“Be that as it may, I just can’t rush into this. You’re vulnerable right now, and I might as well be unavailable for all the events and work I have to go to.”
Lyn grimaced, why does it always have to come down to the “I’m famous and you’re not” situation. “This is so Notting Hill. Are you saying that you don’t want this to happen between us? Or that it would be easier if it didn’t? Because let me tell you something Mr. Boyd, what this is,” gesturing to both of them, “is something rare. And if you’re going to let your work mess it up for you, then I’m not sure it’s something I want to get into.”
Billy noted the raise in Lyn’s voice, and began to get upset at her words, “Wait a damn minute! I didn’t say any of that! All I’m saying is that we’ve known each other for only four days and perhaps we should think of the consequences before we act!”
Lyn sighed, “You’re right. Fine. It’s just that….ok, maybe I am vulnerable, but I don’t just do this kind of thing. And maybe I’m feeling a little pressure, I mean, it would be one thing if you were just this normal guy that lived in my town. But you’re not! You’re Billy Boyd, a famous actor, and who knows if we’ll even ever see each other again! Look, there’s something I want to show you, but before you freak out, let me explain it after you see it.”
Billy furrowed his brows, concerned and curious. Lyn got up and retrieved her laptop from the desk and brought it over to Billy at the table. She began pulling up her picture files, her stories, and her journal all of which were filled with Billy. Billy tried to take it all in, but grew more confused and worried with each one.
“I’m a fan of yours. Have been for awhile. But I’m not obsessed, I don’t seek you out, I just have always appreciated your work and you. And then you knock on MY door, during one of the worst moments of my life, you’ve treated me like a princess, actually start to like me….it’s like you’ve come to rescue me. And once I start to believe, that “Wow, this might actually work! I could end up with Billy!” you push me away and say, “Hold up, this might not be right.” But damnit, it feels all too right to me!”
Billy was silent, still staring at the screen, trying to take it all in, but so repelled by this obsession and weirdness, he is speechless. Finally, he gets up, looks down at Lyn.
“Lyn, you’ve got to believe that I was honest with you. And we did get along, but after seeing all that, how am I to believe that you actually like me as Billy and not as “Billy Boyd, actor”. If nothing else, that alone tells me what I must do. I’m sorry Lyn, but….I’m going to go.”
Lyn sat so still, Billy wasn’t sure she heard him at first, but then her head dropped.
She whispered, “Alright then. You’re right.” She lifted her head and her eyes locked with his, “Would it be alright if I could just kiss you goodbye? Just once.”
Billy smiled, “Once.”
Lyn got up, walked slowly to him, put her hands on either side of his face and drew him to her. She kissed him, in sorrow, in goodbye, gently, and then stepped back. Her eyes filled with the tears that she refused to let fall. Billy picked up his bags, and let himself out. When the door closed, Lyn’s knees let go, and she collapsed to the floor, all she had was now lost.
Lyn woke up with a raging headache. She had stayed up all night, crying while deleting her Billy fandom pictures one by one. All of it was gone. She couldn’t stand to see pictures of him knowing that she blew it. But the time for honesty had come, and she saw no other way she could have handled it. Sure, she could have not shown Billy the computer, but if they had lasted, genuinely lasted, he would have found out anyway. And how much worse would it have been later? All cards were on the table, and Billy had drawn a full house. She patted herself in the knowledge that she had been honest, nothing if not that.
Besides, she had liked him for more than that, she was blessed in having seen the real Billy, and kissed him, if only for a short time. That should be enough. But then, why was her heart breaking?
She dressed in her best pin-strip power suit, preparing mentally for the testimony she would give today. Lyn knew today was bound to be the worst of the trial, as the defense would get its first crack at her today. She applied her make-up meticulously, wanting to sit in a fine balance between professional and looking like a whore. Prepared, she smoked her last cigarette on the courthouse steps and then went up to the courtroom. She strode into the courtroom with confidence, and shortly there after up to the stand. The jury was brought in, and it all began again. The DA was coming to the end of his promptings and questions, the defense was riling up. Lyn heard a door open in the back of the courtroom, but intent on her task of telling her story to the jury; she never noticed who was there.
It was only in the short pause between the DA and the defense that Lyn got her first opportunity to look out into the gallery. There seated behind the rape crisis counselors, who had come to support her, was Billy. His concerned expression softened when he saw Lyn watching him, and he gave a small wave and a smile. Lyn was shocked, her heart was thumping, her mind spinning. What is he doing here? I thought he left last night? She looked down at her hands and then back up to Billy, just to make sure he wasn’t a mirage. Still there. She gave a weak smile and looked away.
The defense attorney began his questions easily, but quickly accelerated into brutal questions. He alleged the most preposterous things, and try as hard as she could, Lyn’s anger and raw emotions were brought to a boiling point. She found herself answering his questions with snipes, and actually heard herself yell back at one point, “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” to one of his outlandish allegations. Finding herself at this point, she tried to control herself and began to answer, “yes, SIR” and “no, SIR”. She had no time to see Billy’s reactions, so intent was she on making sure that none of the defense’s insane statements got by her. She felt so alone on that stand, feeling her words, her life, ripped apart for everyone to see. Felt as if, she was trying to convince people of a truth that only she had known, and which everyone would always doubt. This is the reality, why must I defend it? At long last, after a ping-pong session of rebuttals and reexaminations, Lyn was finished. Recess was called, and the jury was led out.
Lyn walked with shaky legs down the aisle to Billy. She stood, arms at sides looking up into his eyes, saying nothing. He had tears in his eyes, and was red-faced, glaring at the defense table. Saying nothing, he picked up his jacket, slung an arm around her shoulder, and walked her out into the victim’s resting room.
In there, he sat her down in a chair, knelt in front of her, and gently wiped the tears from one cheek then the next. Lyn just searched his face, waiting to see what he’d say.
“Lyn, what do you want for lunch?”
Lyn gaped at him, and could say nothing. Then a disbelieving smile spread onto her face and she let out a little yip of a laugh.
Billy smiled and then pulled her down into a huge hug.
“I’m serious, where do you want to eat?”
“I don’t care, someplace fast.”
Billy pulled her away, chucked her on the chin, “You did good in there, real good.”
“Thanks, but it didn’t feel good.”
Billy smiled, “Nope, that’s my job.”