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I was definitely me this time, same body, same house, same situations...only I was working in the woods somewhere picking up trash. I began to cramp up, feel very sick, so sick that I went to the hospital. When I got to the hospital they told me that I was a few months pregnant, and that I was actually going into labor. I gave birth to a premature little girl. She weighed 2 lbs. I was distraught. They told me that there was no way that she would be able to survive, but I carried a fool's hope. I dreamed about haunted houses and elaborate puzzles to solve, and when I woke up, my child had died. My father was there, trying to keep it all together, trying to make jokes to make me feel better, as was always our way. Nothing helped. A nurse came in and told me that I was lucky, that a premature boy had been born and he hadn't gained any weight while he lived, my child on the other hand went from 2 lbs to 3 lbs in the few days that she survived. Let's just say, I didn't feel lucky.
a very strange dream to wake from, heartaching actually.
something is drawing strange bugs to our laundry room. This morning there was a leaf bug, which I haven't seen in years, and a strange scarab like beetle (not the normal June bugs I have been seeing, and it doesn't look like a Japanese Beetle either {too big})...strange happenings in Glasgow, indeed
Tags: night musing, stuff to avoid
Feeling: distressed
